A narcissist searches for constant gratification. According to the Oxford dictionary, a narcissist is “a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.” The term originates from Greek mythology, and relates to the river god Cephissus’ son Narcissus, who saw his own face reflected in water and fell in love with the image.
The book Narcissism: Behind The Mask, by David Thomas says that some of the typical signs and traits of narcissism include bragging about achievements and accomplishments, the inability or struggle to emphasize, extreme sensitivity to criticism and/or insults, and a dislike or disdain for people who are more successful than the person in question. Although Sigmund Freud argued that healthy narcissism is an integral and even important part of normal human development, narcissists go above and beyond this behavior and form a narcissistic personality which can often be unhealthy and manipulative.
Narcissists typically lie or even manipulate others who do not admire them. Here are 7 clear signs that is narcissist is trying to manipulate you.
1. Narcissists are extremely egocentric. One sign to watch for in a narcissist is extreme bragging and admiration of oneself to the point that this admiration is forced on you.
Not only do a narcissists make everything about them, but they also only ever present themselves in the best of lights.
An example of this is when a narcissistic person is telling a story. If you notice that they simply cannot stop talking about themselves in the story and over-emphasize their actions in relation to the story, they could be a narcissist.
Narcissists like to brag, and the first red flag you should notice in a narcissistic person is if they can’t seem to stop talking about themselves.
2. Narcissists cannot bear it when someone is more accomplished or successful than they are.
The only way a narcissist knows how to deal with this kind of situation is by diminishing, downplaying or outright ignoring another person’s accomplishments or achievements.
Narcissists might downplay or even insult another person’s character or work if they are threatened by someone.
A narcissist thinks of him or herself as the best. They ultimately think that they are better than everyone else. When they are faced with someone who has more accomplishments or achievements than them, they will do anything they can to diminish that person’s success.
3. Narcissists can often be seen as charming, boisterous people, but this is only a facade. When a narcissist does not receive the gratification they think they deserve, they may turn to passive aggressive behavior.
They may be offensive or even claim that they are misunderstood, and often even display jealousy towards people who are more successful. They also display this type of behavior to people who are critical of them.
A narcissist may try to insult people who are more successful than them and may also be argumentative and resentful.
A narcissist will also continuously complain that they are misunderstood and unappreciated, and resent those who are more fortunate and successful.
4. One of the most common things a narcissist does is play the victim. They often blame everything on anyone but themselves.
If a narcissist does not succeed, they will often look for excuses as to why they failed, typically exaggerating that the situation wasn’t fair or even over emphasizing their situation or circumstances to lay the blame on something or someone else.
Some narcissists even go so far as to lie to cover up their failures.
Narcissists try at all costs to avoid being at fault when a mistake is made, and instead try to take the position of the victim.
5. A narcissist will often try to use triangulation as a manipulation tactic to win an argument.
Triangulation is a type of manipulation tactic used by a person who will not willingly communicate with another person. This person will instead include a third person in the line of communication.
This type of manipulation occurs when a narcissist involves a third party in an argument or a conversation. The narcissist will convince the second person that the opposing party is wrong.
This manipulation tactic will often give a narcissist the feeling that because they have more support from another person, they are the right one in the argument or conversation.
6. Much like narcissists play the victim in situations, they also lay the blame on others in times when their integrity or value is at risk.
When a narcissist feels threatened or makes a mistake, they will often point the blame at other people.
A narcissist will do anything they can to pass the blame and guilt onto other people so as to make it look like they are perfect.
A narcissist will blame other people for their misfortunes or even their failures. This form of manipulation is a very dangerous trap one can fall into. If a narcissist tries to blame you for their misfortunes, remember that you are not responsible for their actions.
7. Because narcissists believe that they are better than everyone else, it is extremely rare for a narcissist to change him or herself without seeking the help of a medical professional.
A narcissist will often say that they are who they are, and that there is nothing wrong with them.
Most narcissists are not aware they they even have a problem, and offering help can result in an outburst or confrontation.
Another way a narcissist may manipulate you is by telling you that the way they are is perfectly normal and healthy, and that you are the one in the wrong.